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If they fail, then the punishment tools are activated. Why: Kirsty explained that the device was conceived because she was "easily distracted" and so needed something to focus her attention. Gary added that the main focus of the maze is "to not give you a break, but have you constantly focused on what is going on.

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What: More lo-fi than many of the other toys, the iPad gag is fairly self-explanatory from the name. A ball gag with a wraparound mount sits in the submissive's mouth, holding an iPad Air 2 in front of their face.

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As Kirsty explains, "dribbling is inevitable. Why: "Who doesn't love a bit of objectification," said Gary, "and it was just a fun thing to make her stand still because she doesn't like it. He added that using the iPad in front of Kirsty's face makes the whole thing a little more humiliating. What: A version of the game Simonalbeit with a wireless connection to a punishment device of your choosing.

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Like you might remember, the pattern begins relatively simply but gets increasingly complicated over time. Why: "It's all about preventing you from losing concentration, you have to learn the sequence and put it in with no break at all," said Gary.

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Kirsty added that this toy, like many of the others, targets her "issues with a lack of concentration, an anxiety about getting things wrong and wanting to see things through to the end. What: A box houses a large button on to which a small coin is glued and a ring of LEDs. The button has to be pushed down at all times, or it triggers a punishment device.

Why: One game used in BDSM play is Nose to the Wall, in which the submissive must stand with their face pressed against a wall. In more demanding scenarios, they must continually hold a coin or piece of paper to the wall using only their nose. And this is Gary's "take on" the practice, and when the coin isn't being pushed down, the user is in pain. Kirsty added that "she wanted to do it out in public, with lights and shocks," and to that end, the box is magnetic, so it can be attached to street lights.

What: "It's just a strain gage nicked from a set of digital luggage scales," explains Gary. And it's housed inside a carbon-fiber enclosure and connected to an Arduino board. The dominant can set the system to demand a specific level of strain, or the opposite, and should the limit be breached, the usual punishments are to be expected.

Why: "I mean, it's stress positions, mainly," said Gary, "a lot of people create them with rope, but I'm not good with rope. What: A pair of active-shutter 3D goggles tweaked so the display can be opaque or translucent on demand. Can be used as a way of remotely robbing someone of their sight for short periods, or potentially for longer during sensory deprivation play.

Why: "We're still working on that," explained Kirsty, gesturing at one of the most recent projects, and the least-finished.

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Gary said he was inspired by an advert for an LCD screen that you could make opaque. After learning that 3D glasses could do the same job, he bought some and began wiring one up to an Arduino. A Bluetooth radio connects to an Android app, which acts as the remote control. What: Much like the Shocky Clamps, this repurposes a canine shock collar for the genitalsspecifically Gary's.

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A 3D-printed enclosure bolts around the testicles, with electrodes poking into the scrotum. The remote control can then be used to activate the pain on the dominant's whim. Why: "I built the bollock shocke Electric Cuddles, really, to let Kirsty have some payback on me," said Gary.

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He designed it as a 3D-printed enclosure to ensure that it wasn't easily removed, making it more like a chastity device than a cock ring. Gary's plan is that, eventually, all the designs for these toys will be available on Thingverse for others to build. The risk is that amateurs would attempt to build their own, and without his knowledge, find that it doesn't work.

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In the future, he wants to make designs that can be easily customizable, so people can adapt them to their own needs. He has already been engaged in lengthy chats with like-minded product designers who have advised him on ways to improve his own hardware, too.

Oh, and if you're wondering why all of the toys are pink, it's because Kirsty hates the color. Then, based on his findings, he labeled certain kids - the kids he liked and wanted to spend more time with - as "gifted. I was gifted, according to Gary. This was a real convenience, as he demanded I join his, and only his, after-school clubs. He signed me up for his drama club too and encouraged me to sing in the school talent contest.

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On the night of the show, various kids performed their acts, and the winner was chosen based on audience response. Gary was among the judges who awarded me first prize. After that, I was given the lead in all the school plays that he directed. To the other parents, I suppose it seemed that Gary was harmlessly lauding his new daughter.

In a certain way, he was. Not because he actually thought I was gifted or talented.

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Gary was a narcissist, and narcissists view their families as extensions of themselves, as trophies. Gary believed he was superior, so it was imperative that the world see his daughter as superior too.

Behind closed doors it was a different story.

What: The ball maze has been reinvented as a BDSM device with the addition of an Arduino kit and a wireless transmitter. There are two end-points, at opposite sides of the maze, each holding a

Gary treated me with a dizzying blend of over-involvement, neglect, overindulgence and cruelty. With Svengali-like skill, he quickly took over every ct of my life, dictating what I wore, to whom I talked, even what toys I used.

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Gary dictated what I wore, to whom I talked, even what toys I used. He also strove to monopolize my time - an easy accomplishment since my mother left for work before I awoke and didn't return until evening.

During the school year, this meant Gary had me all to himself for an hour each morning and at least three hours every afternoon. Once summer came, he had me all day, every day, all to himself. This meant being subjected to daily "training sessions" - intense periods when I was explicitly instructed on how to behave and think like a slave.

Much like a dog must be trained to sit, to stay, to heel, practitioners of sadomasochism believe a sex slave must be trained in how to speak, sit, serve. In short, like a dog, she must be taught total obedience. Gary's dungeon was in the basement.

Instead, he left a series of nails and hooks attached to the ceiling beams, which could quickly and easily hold a harness, a rope or some other type of bondage device.

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While much of Gary's paraphernalia had to be kept hidden, I could tell he also had some fun in displaying a few tools of his trade.

The dog cage, for instance, was left in plain sight - folded up in a cluttered corner where it appeared to be waiting for the next garage sale. He also kept a wooden paddle hanging on the wall of his home office, which he jokingly told guests was for "errant children.

Nor did most people realize that he kept a set of metal handcuffs in his desk drawer, right next to a stun gun and his handgun. I can't remember being threatened with the gun - although it may have happened.

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Due to amnesia, as well as the normal forgetfulness of memory, there are many details about my abuse I can't recall.

I know this because, over the years, eyewitnesses have told stories about my abuse that I cannot personally remember.

I do, however, remember Gary threatening me with the stun gun repeatedly. He even used it on me once.

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Once was all it took. For after experiencing the excruciating, utterly indescribable pain it inflicted, I never, ever wanted to experience it again.

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When he wasn't hurting me, he lavished me with parental attention. On the long drives to and from school, he would initiate conversations about history, politics and art. We ate nearly every meal together while he instructed me on things like table manners and ethnic cuisine. He gave me my first typewriter and influenced my decisions to become both a writer and psychologist. He took the time to open up the world for me.

He was my first and most significant mentor.

Under my mother's care, I'd been neglected and deprived. She was constantly at work, leaving me alone and lonely. Gary preyed on that loneliness. Like any skilled pedophile, he identified what I needed, and he gave it to me.

He made me feel special, talented, smart. Even sexually, staying on Gary's good side had its advantages. For once he felt I had become sufficiently trained and submissive, most of the torture tapered off. Afternoons in the basement were replaced by the bedroom. And his fervor to cause me pain was replaced with a passion to bring me pleasure. I suspect it made him feel powerful - like more of a man.

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Nearly every day at 4 p. The weird part, of course, was that his "lover" was just under four feet tall and weighed less than 60 pounds. There was also the inconvenient fact that his official lover, my mother, refused to vanish. Unable to ditch her physically, he did it emotionally instead. Every evening, he locked himself in his home office. Every weekend, he went to his store. As I was expected to work for him, I followed wherever he went. Very early on, my mother began to notice this pattern, and she didn't like it.

Not one bit.

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Being immature, she didn't handle the situation with grace. She felt excluded, which she was.

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So she began to yell a lot, mostly at me. One particular Saturday morning we had probably been living with Gary for about six weeksI was in the bathroom getting dressed for the flea market, just as I did every weekend. But my mother wasn't happy, so she stood in the doorway, whining.

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You oughta be staying home with me. Just then, Gary came into the hall. My mother cornered him. Gary, as always, remained calm during my mother's onslaught. Nonchalantly, he remarked, "Why don't you let Mooch decide what she wants to do today? She's perfectly capable of choosing. With one quick remark, he had abdicated all responsibility for the situation. Instead, all blame was now placed squarely on me.

At 8 years old, I was being asked to choose between my mother and Gary. It was not a real decision, of course. Gary knew this. If I chose Gary, he would immediately whisk me away from my mother's ranting - and probably offer some kind of reward. But if I chose my mother, there would be no one to protect me from Gary.



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  1. Bracage 2 Oct 2012 Reply

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