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birds tweet [Julia] I was at NYU. I was really new to sex and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand, but I was also really horny all the time and honestly, I would've slept with anyone after two vodka cranberries. My sober self knew that I wasn't ready, but my drunk self didn't care. So to combat this tendency, I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit and my ugliest bra. Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of. We go to the party and I get drunk.

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MOST RECENT. I do remember sort of panicking on the way there, knowing that his expectations and mine were different but not knowing how to stop it.

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He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said was like, Huh, nice bra. And I realized that I hated him.

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At this point I'm sobering up a little bit, and I think, Am I gonna go through with this? But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him. So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.

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So I was like, What kind of books do you like? And he was like, I don't really read, and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off. And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick just one book that you've read that you really liked.

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And he was like, Okay, who's the guy who wrote Jurassic Park? I like him. And so I, a young scholar and certified academic asshole, was aghast.

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I was like, Michael Crichton?! He was like, Yeah, whatever, and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys, and I hated it. And so I just went with the first thing that popped in my head, I'm on my period, which was a lie.

He looked at me and he sighed, and he uttered a series of words that I will never forget. Can I at least get some head?

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Can you at least give me head? It was like, Can you at least do anything? Like, what are you good for?

And I stopped, and I shoved myself out from under him and stood up, and gathered my things. And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.

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And I walked out the door. As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand and I remember feeling really good about the decisions I had made.

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It was a really empowering moment.



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